The Weird Turn Pro

Batman Forever
1995, PG-13
Directed by Joel Schumacher
Story by Lee Batchler and Janet Scott Batchler
Screenplay by Lee Batchler, Janet Scott Batchler, & Akiva Goldsman

Batman Forever?  Well, not really.  The real beginning of the end for this franchise began here, with the change of both directors and actors playing the Bat.  We all shook our heads when Michael Keaton was cast as the hero but it somehow worked.  Burton’s weirdness brought a nice level of darkness to the otherwise campy scripts of the first two movies.  Neither was around for this disaster as director Joel Schumacher stepped in and removed all credibility.  Hold onto your seats with one hand readers and keep the other hand free for an adult beverage as we descend into the mouth of madness…

Well, this plot once again brought us two bad guys for the bat to fight.  This time though he’s not alone as he now has a sidekick!  That’s right, Bruce Wayne/Batman took in the son of circus acrobats who where killed by villain Two-Face’s henchmen.  I don’t quite know why a 25-year-old man needs to be adopted, but let’s not go down that creepy road just yet.  Batman will need all the help he can get as he faces Two-Face—a former district attorney that turned crazy when acid thrown in his face disfigured him.  Somehow he blamed Batman for this.  At the same time a disgruntled employee of Bruce Wayne got fired and decided to take his revenge by dressing in green tights and taking over the minds of everyone in the city.  I guess a lawsuit would take too much time?  Of course, the two bad guys end up teaming up to go after Batman.  There is no real plot beyond that. Another lonely 1 for plot as we see a franchise disintegrate before our very eyes.

Val Kilmer takes over as Batman/Bruce Wayne.  He’s more believable as Batman but way less as Wayne.  He’s a wooden toy soldier in this movie, even with the introduction of Nicole Kidman as love interest Dr. Chase Meridian.  Hell, given how cold she is in every movie I can understand the lack of chemistry.  They should have saved her for a Dr. Freeze story.  Tommy Lee Jones went the other way with the hilarious over-the-top Two-Face.  He almost seemed to be enjoying himself.  Jim Carrey played the Riddler with his classic zaniness.  The two of them carried this movie kicking and screaming over the finish line.  This movie could have been the end of the series without the casting of these two great actors.  Acting gets a 2.5—dragged down by the two previous ’1′ scores.

Schumacher’s use of colors makes you think you’re watching an old-fashioned 3-D movie without the glasses.  Everything is red and blue, and just looks silly.  We know longer have Batman’s trademark darkness; we have a comic strip gone horribly wrong.  It’s not as bad here as it will be in the next installment but brace yourself.  Special effects are just average here, as are the fight scenes.  A totally confused effort that gets a 2 in both these categories.  Our total score here is rounded up generously to a 1.9. The end is nigh fans. The end is nigh.

Review by Captain Zero