Martybear (Batman Forever)
Batman Forever
1995, PG-13
Directed by Joel Schumacher
Story by Lee Batchler and Janet Scott Batchler
Screenplay by Lee Batchler, Janet Scott Batchler, & Akiva Goldsman
Winner of the 1995 “Random-Adjective-in-Movie-Title” Award, we now hold in our hands what amounts to the very first spiritual sequel to the 1966 Batman the Movie. That’s not necessarily a bad thing in-an-of itself, but considering this was the third installment of Tim Burton’s “darker” Batman franchise (Yes, yes, it had a different director, but Burton was still attached as producer. It was still “his” franchise) it pretty much completes the circle of camp and does away with any pretense of darkness.
The headier of the films psychological themes, such as multiple personality disorder and obsessional fixations, are spoon-fed to us via Batman’s latest gorgeous blonde love interest—Dr. Chase Meridian—half psychologist, half hooker, half amateur kick-boxer. Worried that the math doesn’t add up? Don’t be. You’ll be asked to swallow more than that before we even get to meet Robin—a man-boy whose entire family of trained acrobats is killed by a twenty foot drop.
Just who could be responsible for such a dastardly heinous crime against nature? Why, it’s none other than Harvey “Bad Penny” Two-Face! I call him Bad Penny because no matter where you go, no matter how little time has elapsed since his last defeat, Harvey just seems to turn up everywhere in this movie. Not invited? No problem! He’s got light-up guns, a super-villain persona and an army of expendable underpaid minions. Thankfully, with the money he saves employing under-qualified goons he can afford that nifty “be-anywhere-at-any-time” machine.
The one thing he doesn’t seem to have is a master plan, which is where Jim Carrey comes in and pretty much single-handedly saves this movie from being a complete waste of time. The Riddler is a camp villain. There’s no way to disguise the rhyming clues you leave to aid the people pursuing you as anything else. Jack the Ripper left clues, you say? Well, maybe so, but his didn’t rhyme. It’s hard to add any kind of dimension to a cackling madman who affords the authorities a much more than even chance to defeat him. It might be that he gets his jollies from winning when the odds are stacked against him, but if he’s so smart why hasn’t he put together that, to date, Batman has foiled no less than five other villains? Especially when that list actually includes his villainous partner Bad Penny?
I guess it’s true. TV rots your brain after all.
That’s right, the Riddler’s master plan is to suck the brainwaves right out of the heads of every man, woman, and child in Gotham City by providing them with FREE CABLE!
As far as villainous master plans go, this is one I could get behind, especially in todays unstable market!
Though you aren’t going to find a whole lot to sink your teeth into in this film, you can handle it pretty much the same way as any fight scene in Lord of the Rings; just sit back, unfocus your eyes and let it happen. Don’t fight it or try to keep up. You’ll just give yourself a migraine.
One good thing I can say about this movie is that it scraps the darkness in favor of bright, vibrant colors. Ok, maybe that’s not such a good thing in terms of the entertainment value of the movie, but it makes the thing very pretty to look at. Turn the volume down, ignore the bad puns and ridiculous scenarios. Just watch the pretty colors flash past you. Like a Pink Floyd laser light show, only without Dark Side of the Moon playing in the background.
Hmm… that gives me an idea. Dark Side of the Batcave, anyone?
Ok, I’m sorry that I am trying so hard to find good things to say about this movie when it obviously doesn’t deserve praise, but the fact of the matter is that I did enjoy this movie. A lot more than it deserves, perhaps, but look at it this way: as I mentioned earlier, it sort of fills a void as a spiritual sequel to Batman ’66. I grew up watching reruns of the old “Adam West” Batman, so I did get a fair amount of childlike satisfaction (or nostalgia, or mindless sentimentality, whatever you want to call it) out of watching Batman Forever.
I enjoyed this movie for what it was and forgave it for what it wasn’t. The best thing I can say about that it at least it wasn’t trying to be anything else.
Review by Martybear