Martybear (X-Men 3)
X-Men 3: The Last Stand
Directed by Brett Ratner
Written by Simon Kinberg and Zak Penn
X3: The Last Stand, or as I prefer to call it: “How Wolverine outsmarted Magneto, then for an encore single-handedly defeated the Dark Phoenix.” This movie truly and unapologetically represents the four ineffable rules of writing an X-Men story.
Rule number one; Wolverine will always win. Even if his powers/history/personality/limitations otherwise make victory impossible, Logan comes out on top. Anyone who is not Weapon X is, by definition, a secondary character.
Rule number two; Magneto is never defeated. Ever. No matter how hopeless his condition seems, no matter how dead he gets himself along the way, he will rise again.
Rule number three; Sexual tension cures all plot holes.
Rule number four; The more stuff that gets smashed up along the way, the better. Even better if you can smash up a major landmark of international renown. People recognize that stuff; makes ‘em feel connected to the characters.
I have to give the new director some credit. The worst line of the movie didn’t defeat anyone (a novel concept in any form of comic medium), there actually seemed to be a reason for Storm to be in the movie (there wasn’t, see Rule 1, but at least he made the effort.), and despite the Witch Hunter Robin vibe of Dark Phoenix’s costume the movie was truest interpretation of the actual Dark Phoenix saga than even the multitude of ridiculously convoluted X-titles of the eighties that were based on it.
Doubtless, the many of you who read that story arc are wondering what the hell I’m talking about. There was no Shi’ar Empire to pass judgement, no Kree or Skrulls lurking about to make things ever more complicated, there wasn’t even a single instance of galactic genocide! But I’m just going to throw something out there that will surely get me ostracized from the comic community.
The Dark Phoenix Saga sucked.
You heard me. It was a crap storyline that was tinkered with by a cocky, self-righteous editor who (in my opinion) is single handedly responsible for the utter unreadability of the X-series in the eighties. How does this relate to Last Stand? Simple, in the original script for the comic there was no Phoenix Force. It was, as the movie depicts, just Jean Grey’s latent potential fully realized. Unfortunately this story-arc was written in the late 70′s when the X-Men were immersed in galaxy-spanning stories in their quest to gain acceptance from the people who hate and fear them. . . .
. . . on their own planet. . .
Am I the only one that thinks that’s a giant waste of effort?
I give this movie a glowing review and rate it a must see based solely on the fact that it manages to continue the meta-plot of the series while working in a record-straightening sub-plot that corrects a glaring misrepresentation of the author’s original intentions. Need proof of that claim? Chris Claremont, the man who wrote the story, made a cameo appearance in the opening scene. Hint: He was the guy who wasn’t Stan Lee.
Review by Martybear