Captain Zero (LXG)
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Directed by Stephen Norrington
Screenplay by James Robinson
Based on a graphic novel by Alan Moore and Kevin O’Neill
Yikes. I heard that this movie is one of the reasons Alan Moore hates seeing his work adapted and I can almost understand why. I said almost because I’ve read the graphic novel, and its pretty boring as it was. Alan Moore at his slow paced finest brings us to yet another movie he can piss himself over.
So, are you ready?
England is in trouble. Yes, again. To paraphrase the main character, Allan Quatermain, “Son, the empire is always in danger”. There’s your plot in a nutshell. To save the British empire from a terrorist calling himself the Fantom, a British agent known only as M gathers a team of unusual characters from several works of fiction. They are: Captain Nemo, Mina Harker, Dorian Grey, Dr Jeckyll, Tom Sawyer, The Invisible Man, and Allan Quatermain. Their purpose: save the world. Wow, that sure beats the Justice League now doesn’t it? What sounds like a solid idea on paper somehow falls flat on the screen. The idea that fictional hero characters from that era were real is a plot that seems to want to work, but it isn’t given enough time to jell. The comic book was very slow moving and to compensate, I assume, the director threw in action sequence after action sequence. He also threw in Tom Sawyer—a character not found in the comic—and creates a lousy ‘father figure’ plot with Allan Quatermain which only makes things worse. I’ll give the plot a ‘3’.
Acting presents a dilemma. For the most part it was really bad, but I think that may have been the result of a poor script. The dialogue is terrible and clichéd—derived from every action movie you’ve ever seen. Sean Connery passed up several movies to play Quatermain and I’m sure he regrets it. Tony Curran (The Invisible Man) and Stuart Townsend (Dorian Gray) played their parts well, but again, no one was given much to work with. I’ll give the acting a ‘2’, which, unfortunately, is probably biased by lack of material.
If ever there was a need for a directorial judging category, it’s now. This movie could have been good if director Stephen Norrington hadn’t removed all of the interesting character development from the graphic novel and replaced them with action movie clichés. For example, Quatermain is first introduced in the book in an opium den, and is by no means a team leader. He’s a broken old addict redeeming himself. We get none of that in the movie. Also in the book, The Invisible Man joins the team after getting caught having his invisible way with a bunch of schoolgirls. See, these things make compelling, if not likeable, characters. The movie instead offers scene after scene of gunfights, special effects, and ‘buddy-cop’ dynamics, which lead to a disappointing, yet expected, ending—yielding another big-budget Hollywood failure. I’m gonna go off the scoring page here and give this movie an overall ‘2’. I’m not going to sit here and discuss special effects, cinematography and fight scenes after they butchered the characters to this extent. Suffice to say, if you’re a fan of explosions and Schwarzenegger flicks you might like it.
Review by Captain Zero