Captain Zero (X-Men 3)
X-Men 3: My Last Stand
Directed by Brett Ratner
Written by Simon Kinberg and Zak Penn
Enough already!!! No more X-Men movies unless they start using other goddamn characters! How much more Wolverine and Halle Berry do they expect us to take? With that said, on to the review….
So once again we have a plot where Magneto plays a main part. Really? What no one could do the computer generation necessary to have Apocalypse? Dark Phoenix not enough to stand on her own? For that matter, fans of the comic book will know that for a long time Mystique ran the Brotherhood on her own. But no, we have Magneto building an army to go after a company that allegedly has a cure to make mutants into humans.
So we have the science to rewrite D.N.A. but we can’t make a bio fuel that doesn’t destroy all life as we know it (ethanol destroys so much I can’t get into it here). After seeing this movie I’m glad it’s only a trilogy. I’ve been reading X-Men for 27 years and it’s a damn shame to see so many likeable characters reduced to a few minutes here and there. Even the X-Men they introduce in this movie like the Beast barely get a scene. Why pay Kelsey Grammar big bucks for a cameo appearance? I give this plot a 1.2. Oh yeah, by the way, I hope you’re not a James Marsden fan. Yes, he’s the bitch yet again. He really should wear nothing but red ensign shirts…
Acting wise, it’s essentially more of the same although I have to note that Ellen Page taking over as Kitty Pryde was inspired. I think the scene in this movie where she punks out Juggernaut is ridiculous but at least she does it with style. Vinnie Jones as Jugs works well too (for the five whole lines he gets). More waste of good casting. Well, at least Juggernaut gets off lightly compared to what miss hard candy usually does to the male half of the species—he only gets verbally castrated. The acting gets a 2.5. It would be higher but not enough lines to the good actors…
Special effects? Not much to complain about. I give them the perfect 4, as does the action. They went all out fighting in this movie. This was clearly the big blow off. So as an overall rating this movie gets a 2.5, only because it’s carried by the action sequences. If you’re looking for a movie to with plot and meaning, it’s not here. Okay, I know I said no more X-Men movies, but wouldn’t it be great to see one with no Storm or Wolverine? Let Nightcrawler take over a team like he did in the book. A team of him, Colossus, Iceman, Kitty Pryde and chuck in just about anyone else and I think you got a winner. Just an opinion, but that’s why I pretend to be a writer here…
Review by Captain Zero