Captain Zero (X-Men 2)
X-Men 2
Now With Twice Your Daily Recommended Dose of Wolverine!!
Directed by Bryan Singer
Story by Zak Penn, David Hayter, and Bryan Singer
Screenplay by Michael Dogherty, Dan Harris, and David Hayter
Now that you’ve seen that headline you get a good idea of what’s to come don’t you? It’s time to review X-Men 2. Yes once again there’s an overload of Wolverine scenes (even for a fan of the character like me), but this time around they balanced it with some of the best fight scenes in the series. Watching one and two back to back, I find I liked this one a little bit more than the first, for different reasons.
Onto the plot, which is where I find this movie lacking. You really start the movie with a great scene in the white house starring Nightcrawler—a longtime X character played in this movie perfectly by Alan Cumming. Love this scene folks. In response to this, the president greenlights an old army warhorse named William Stryker to deal with our favorite mutants. To steal a line from Dennis Miller,” I don’t mean to go on a rant here but….” William Goddamn Stryker never appeared in the regular X comic before this movie!!!! Of all the characters and all the bad guys and all the storylines of forty years they choose this obscure one from a 1982 graphic novel and then remove his backstory, removing all dimension from this character. They also tie him into Wolverine’s past—setting up the Wolverine movie coming out in 2009. Enough already! If you’re going to do a Wolverine movie, save the origin for that. So you end up with the X-Men defending themselves against some small branch of the U.S military. Without giving away too much of what happens in the movie, there are some huge plot holes and lack of logic in this film. I’ll sum it up with one question: If Jean Grey can move so many things with her newly increased telekinesis why can’t she lift a plane with her still in it? You’ll see what I mean when you watch. I’ll give them a 0.5 out of four for plot.
I know what you’re thinking. If I think so little of the plot why do I like this movie? Simple, as an action flick it kicks some ass. You’ve got more than double the amount of fight scenes, some great special effects and every character gets a chance to shine with their powers, even if for only a few seconds. You even get an early glimpse of Colossus knocking people around. You’ve got the heavy action, you’ve got the light show, you’ve even got unaccredited army cannon fodder getting wiped by the score! This movie actually has a body count The Punisher and Elektra movies would envy. That is, of course, if Marvel had actually made movie versions of those characters and not the veggie tales equivalent of them. So for the heavy action and the more liberal use of effects, I’ll give them 3.5 and my first perfect 4 for special effects. They got the most out of these characters in these categories…
As for acting, even Halle Berry couldn’t bring this one down too much. Alan Cumming is great; too bad they couldn’t get another movie out of him. Everyone else is what they are. I will point out that Marsden can’t do drama for shit. That’s okay though because he’s M.I.A. for most of this movie—assuring his title as Hollywood’s bitch. Seriously, on a side note here, why is this guy always wimped out, punked out or wiped out in the beginning of every movie he’s in? Who did he piss off? Acting for this movie gets a 3. Due to the lines they’re given they don’t get the chance to earn a 4.
Overall this movie earns a 2.6 from me. In any other type of movie a plot this bad pisses me off. But this is a super hero movie, so if you’re looking for Oscar material you’re looking in the wrong garbage can. I’d watch this once or twice, then throw it on the shelf for a few years somewhere between the transporter movies roadhouse.
Review by Captain Zero